20 tons of trouble in a 10 ton truck....

I get around...

Hanging out in Hotlanta....


A cool refreshing drink....


I feel loved by this worshiper...

posted by the jesus @ 11:21 AM |

Who knew, the Wonkette is a fan?

Rumors on the Internets: Ascension Can Wait — Jesus Has Some Blogging To Do

• Women’s Studies professors aren’t just violently pro-choice; they’ll hang up on you without exchanging pleasant good-byes. [Michelle Malkin]


• God loves your embarrassingly out-of-date Blackberry just the way it is. [HuffPo]


• Protestants — surprisingly more oppressed than every branch of government would suggest. [Evangelical Outpost]


• Islam Does America: A Play in Three Awesomely Xenophobic Acts. [Crooked Timber]


• New Orleans makes Tulane Law students fishers of unarmed, possibly dangerous men. [TalkLeft]

posted by the jesus @ 9:24 PM |

If I was a singer, I'd be Ed Hamell....

Snatched (tee hee hee) from harpmagizine.com

Download the song if you dare:

"Coulter's Snatch (live)" [mp3]

Hamell on Trial:
Snatched Up
By Randy Harward

Why did you write “Coulter’s Snatch”?

I saw an interview with [conservative talking-head and author] Ann Coulter where it became apparent to me that it was show business for her. It’s about sellin’ books—she’s selling her personality. And it made me angry, ’cause she affects people’s lives.

Do you think people will miss the underlying commentary in the song?

Some people criticize the song because obviously it’s over the top. But I’m tired of arguing about “Was there weapons of mass destruction?” Obviously the song is supposed to be funny, but I also say, “I’m ashamed that it’s come to this.”

“This” being…

[The point is] you wanna take the low road? Well, fuck it—somebody’s gotta take the lower road. These guys are playing dirty pool. If they’re saying rotten shit, then you better learn how to say rotten shit. Fuck this holier-than-thou righteous shit.

What is your goal?

To the already converted, [the song] is cathartic. I’m like the spiritual gas station getting you from Point A to Point B. It’s nice to know that there’s likeminded people out there with a sense of humor. That’s the one thing that really seems to be missing from the Pat Robertsons and the Bill O’Reillys out there. The Rush Limbaughs, the Ann Coulters. They have no fuckin’ sense of humor. And levity is important.

For the unconverted, I hope to piss ’em off. If the converted laughed at the song and drove off the road, I hope that some conservative Christians get pissed and drive off the road and hit a tree until there’s just one [conservative Christian] left.

Has Coulter heard the song?

The song is only nine days old, so it’s too new. But I have friends that monitor conservative blogs and they’re going to get it out there.

Suppose you got to engage her in debate?

I watch her debate liberals; they get all fired up and talk over each other and nothing gets accomplished. I don’t wanna go there. We’ve been over it all before.

posted by the jesus @ 9:24 PM |

When did you get those?

So after dropping off my superstar kiddo this morning, I pull into the lot at Starbucks for a quick caffeine jolt. As I park, a little skinny woman, prolly in her late 40's, passes in front of my car. She is attractive and would have qualified as a 'trophy wife' back in 1988.... but that is all speculation and fluff for my story. The stand out feature on her were a set of boobs Anna Nicole Smith would be envious of... way to big for this little gal's frame, yet oddly impressive.

I head into the shop and this woman is 2 people in front of me. She orders her frappacino and turns to get in the waiting for Jo line. At this point, the lady behind me (who is about the same age etc) squawks "Hi Sharon!!" The boob lady turns smiles and walks over; they have a fake hug, begin pleasantries and gossip while holding each others hand. Then it happend... the lady who said 'Hi' put her arm that is holding the boob lady's hand out straight exposing half of her humungous chest, looks down at the gigantic boobs and very loudly exclaims "When did you get those? They're awesome!"

I have to admit, I turned and stared... prolly with a very shocked look on my face b/c I knew, as well as the rest of the 20 people in the Starbucks, what she was referring to and now we all knew "they" were new additions. Now whether or not that is a compliment is up to the individual. In the boob lady's case it was like she got frosted with a squirt of liquid nitrogen.... frozen solid. Not a word was spoke, not blow was thrown, she just picked up her now ready Frappacino and walked out.

One less for the Christmas card list I guess....

posted by the jesus @ 9:20 PM |

Ann Coulter's got a stinky _______ (its like mad libs!)

This could be the next big thing... too bad it looks like they folded in 2005. Can Pierce Dangleman be shutdown? Not for long son... not for long....

Speaking of Anne... here's her old boyfriend from back in college.

posted by the jesus @ 9:09 PM |

Bikes, backs, and my little space girl...

Wud up? I fianlly gave up on the traditional medicine and went back to chiropractic. Now the new crew is more of a classic Davenport Iowa style team, which is ok just not 'sports' focused. At this point, that's ok for me since my skillz are starting to need a prefix reading 'rec'.

I went last Friday for my x-rays and scans, they use this heat scan to determine blood flow on each side of your spine and compare against what has been determined to be 'normal'. The good thing is it is a very simple way (if it's reproducible) to quickly see change/improvement over time. So yesterday I got to see my life size x-ray and see all the ugliness up close and personal.... it wasn't pretty.

My the disk between L4/L5 (and my 75% formed L6, yes I'm special) are fugg'd up. The bulging side was clear as fricken day on the side view, but from the front showed the aftermath of a tuesday nighter crash back in 2003 that had 100% impact of my *mass* on my left hip. A tilt of ~8 degrees and a visibly lower pelvis. If this was not enough, my spine has a mild scoliosis and some degeneration in my neck. Needless to say, the injections and PT aren't going to help me... and neither is my old chiro (whom will remain nameless and doesn't have a website). It's not pretty and I was ready to beg for even an old style adjustment.

So what happened you ask? I've had 2 adjustments and actually have more relief than any of the other treatments over the past 9 months. It really pains me to say that, but while I'm no where close to back to normal, I'm walking on the path towards it. That actually feels pretty good after all the PT, MRI's,and steroid injections.... and they were just about to start the EPO treatement...

In celebration I've signed up for Coldsprings this weekend and will hope for a iDiot 13th place...

Dang, the space girl pic is on my desktop at work... I'll upload tomorrow.

Sammy Rivers to the Barbie Space Shuttle...

posted by the jesus @ 9:26 PM |

Where the sun don't shine....

Is that where your iPod is?

posted by the jesus @ 9:01 PM |