Friday, August 18, 2006

Was I wrong?

Ok, so I'm a passive aggressive driver which means everyone else can't drive but rather than road raging someone to death, I find other ways to transfer my angst to them. Sort of like bagging a Hummer....

That being said, I believe one of the biggest driving trolls are the tailgaters. Those bastards that get within a car length of your bumper while at speed, leaving them no time to slow/react if needed. Usually they are on the phone and smoking/eating and would have the time to say "crumple zone" if you had to suddenly slow down to avoid a ______ (fill in the blank).

So how does a passive aggressive deal with these knuckle dragging bottom feeders? In case another one happens to feel the need to drive into the back of my truck, I keep the tow ball in the hitch at all times, even though I have yet to tow anything. Maybe having to replace the engine on their car will help them to learn. Really, I did this for their own good. My second approach is more of an attempt to A) encourage the tailgater to back off and B) to help transfer my displeasure with them to them. When I get a tailgater stuck to my bumper, I simply engage my windshield washer and use an excessive amount of washing fluid to ensure enough has blown over my car and onto theirs. It's quite affective at transferring the anger and sometimes gets them to back off. At least they will 'bag me' as they turn off/pass/back off... and I feel much better.

What's the point? Other than brevity is not my strong suit? The first part of my morning commute is ~12miles on a 2 lane country road (for you locals it's 1826 or the way to the Salt Lick) that only has 2 places to pass, so if you're stuck behind someone slow, you're pretty much stuck there. As I pulled out, the neighbor that lives down the hill from our house comes zooming up behind me as I leave the hood. He's driving a red convertible BMW with the top down (so his hair can blow) and is right on my ass as we drive along. I'm going ~62 (speed limit is 55) which normally is fast enough and will get you pulled over if the sheriff lights you up with his radar. He continues to hover on the back bumper, close enough to where I can't see him in my rearview. This is starting to piss me off, but figure I need to just chill since he is my neighbor. We get to the first passing area and it's clear, but he doesn't go (prolly can't see since my tailgate takes up his entire windshield). He again fails to pass at the second and last opportunity.

I speed up to 65mph; he still sticks right on my ass like I was towing him. Finally I've had enough and I spray the windshield washer fluid for a good 30 sec. I look back and my tactic has worked, as the red convertible BMW wiper blades are running at full speed and my neighbor is running his hand through his hair and then shaking out like it's soaking wet. The look on his face and body language told me my anger was affectively transferred and he stayed 2-3 car lengths back until he turned off on 45/So MoPAC ~4miles later.

So, was I wrong to douse this tailgating scum and prolly ruin his hair for the day?

Monday, August 07, 2006

I love this stuff!

I think it freshens your nether regions!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Bumpersticker musings...

Personally, I don't like putting stickers on my car of any kind. I cringed when the homeowners association made us add them to our cars so they could 'better police' the pool and hood for those unwanted interlopers.

That being said, I do like to read other peoples bumper stickers. I have actually snapped a camera phone pic of one and sent it to the iDiot because it was funny. It was the "No Child Left a Dime" sticker in the 'No Child Left Behind' theme.

Today my route into work should be deemed the 'American Pride' route. I'm not talking about rainbow pride, but true red white and blue shit kicking, Dixie Chick hating, W glazed eyed and wide open mouth mastication love of the good ole US of A. The standard American flags, Power of Pride, Boycott France, and the USA in the circle ones were all there, along with a few Austin style "I don't have to agree with Bush to love my country" and my fav "Jesus is not a Republican". But there were 2 others that irked me (or maybe I wish I would have though of it and set up a cafepress site to sell them!).

The first on was "Hardcore American" WTF? Do softcore Americans not replace the foreign made parts of the engines in their GM cars, but the hardcore ones do? Or does that mean there will be close ups of their wee bits somewhere on the internet?

The other one was "Native American" and I don't think it meant the ones we stole all the land from. Nope, this one had a good ole stars and stripes next to it and the driver was as white bread as the Beavers dad Ward.

I expect someday soon to see a big ole Redneck looking guy walking along with his klan and a t-shirt that reads "PRIDE" in red, white, and blue letters. BOOYA MOFO! Followed shortly there after by 2 skinny AF model looking guys wearing tshirts that read "PRIDE" in rainbow colors. Oh SNAP!

That would be a good day...