Tuesday, August 23, 2005

How very christian of you...

Now lets kill someone!!

This really is one of those things I can't really understand. Doesn't this go against everything a "Christian" would stand for? I know Robertson is an iDiot but advocating an assassination to his audience? Maybe it will get them away from Planned Parenthood and out of the country for awhile.

Is this a terrorist statement? Under the Patriot Act is sure is, it'll be interesting to see if the gov't goes after a right-winger. Maybe O'reily will call Robertson un-American?

Thursday, August 18, 2005

A new fav....

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Lego's for the Blue states?

I can't believe the lengths some religous right will go to help us to gain understanding... So if you're a bluestater and need help understanding your kids, have I got the instructional site for you...

Monday, August 15, 2005

He's got chicken

Why does this sound like a prerace tactics discussion on my team?

Monday, August 08, 2005

Running with the cows...

My normal weekend ride from my gated out in the country community, which is far enough out of town to still get real waves from the locals, I encounter a lot of livestock. No I don't mean cow's wearing yellow hoof bands, real live farm animals that are bound for a dinner table somewhere. Maybe not as the main course, but on the damn table somewhere. Many times by just crossing a cattle guard (cg), I will be suddenly surrounded by dozens of cows... just standing there chewing away at their cuds... this Sunday was just slightly different. When I crossed over the cg this time, 2 cows on either side of the road started to run along with me. Most times the ‘bbrrraaaaapptt’ over the cg will cause the ones close by to scatter, but why were these 2 marking me? Had they been planning an attack all this time? Did the hair on my legs make me look slower than the rest and easy pickings for a cow sandwich? I quickly calculated each cow’s trajectory in my head and realized I had 3 seconds to impact. I yelled “I had sushi last night!!” hoping to slow them down and gassed it…. As I looked back the sad cows were standing nose to nose blocking the whole road… as if to say “You win this time, but we’ll be ready for you when you return”

I may have to rethink my route next time…

Friday, August 05, 2005

Oh no...

We've got competition....

"The stronger the mule, the deeper the plow"

Now first clear that dirty Mike Tyson image out of your mind and let that phrase sink in.... heavy eh?

The mule could represent an ass or republican? or.... you decide!

phraseology

"The stronger the mule, the deeper the plow"

Now first clear that dirty Love-O-Rama out of your mind and let that phrase sink in.... heavy eh?

Thursday, August 04, 2005

My home page

Hello, first let me start with my page of worship.... enjoy

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

A story to start....

Do ever find yourselves in a situation that seems to better suited for a Cohen brothers or Tarantino movie?? Just something mundane and then you find yourself looking around for Hunny Bunny who’s about to pull out a gun and rob the place? Happens to me all the time…

Recently I went to the post office (which always has a slight risk factor just because of it’s history across the US) to mail a package. Here's the sceen as I walk into the office: there’s a tall fat pear shaped guy with a head too small for his body and a boyish face with pimples staring an X-box next to multiple Priority Mail boxes of varying sizes but all of which are too small to fit the xbox. He's looking utterly perplexed at his situation, but happily placing and removing the Xbox from different boxes. Maybe he’s retarded or something I don't know, but I take a mental note and scan the room for a guardian or something that might be there with him. The lady in front of me has a change of address form in her hand and has clearly been crying very recently, she looks like she’s foreign but nothing specific, just foreign. There are 2 postmen helping, one is a Dude that hasn’t cut his hair or shaved his beard in at least 1 year and it’s growing uncontrollably like crabgrass off his face (sort of like the guy in Texas who just got busted for chaining his kid to a table when he left the house b/c the kid had snuck out once) the other postman is an Asian guy that looks like he might be trying out for Mr. Universe soon, buff with deep voice and vacant look on his face while being spoken to. The guy he’s helping has lost his PO box key and believes people are stealing his mail, so he wants to get a new key or replace the lock. All of this is odd, but doesn’t really make this seem out of the ordinary from any other trip to the post office… but then the moment happens…. The Asian bodybuilding postman walks over to a filing cabinet to pull out a spare key, the crying foreign lady has approached the dude with her change of address slip, and I look at the pear shaped guy who’s popping bubble wrap…. The dude tells the foreign lady she can’t change the delivery of someone else’s mail and she says “WHY NOT?” very loud with a thick (maybe Turkish ?) accent, while the bodybuilder starts singing “All I want to do, is have some fun”, the crying lady turns abruptly and clomps out of the post office while sympathetic Dude tries to explain, and the pear shaped guy says “I like that song”…. Just as the Dude looks at me and say’s “next” in a tone implying I have something to add.... I am frozen, just standing there waiting for someone to say “it’s the one that says bad mother f***er on it